Why am I here?

“I don’t know what I want, so don’t ask me.

I’m still trying to figure it out…”

It’s 2:45 AM. That line of Taylor Swift’s song hits me as it plays perpetually in my head. I think two cups of coffee is enough for tonight as it could no longer overcome my tired eyes from pretending to stay awake. As I take my last sip, I see the piled printed sheets of cases and notes waiting to be read and I could not help but ask myself, “Am I doing what I’m supposed to do?” “Am I on the right track?” “Why am I here?”

Not all my journeys started from a dream. Some started from a series of chances and grabbed opportunities. I never dreamt of becoming a lawyer, but I’d like to believe that I’m in this journey for a worthy purpose. Though only God knows the exact reason, like a seed planted in a garden, I only need to sprout and blossom. And that is why I’m still here.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” While most people are in pursuit of happiness, self-gratification and the you-only-live-once lifestyle, I’m reminded that I must live a life of purpose – a purpose greater than myself; one that will define my existence. People would ask, “Why the need to do more?”, “Why go through all the pain, hardships, and sleepless nights when you don’t need to?” But then, why not? If I have to live each day as if it were my last, I will make sure to leave a trace of my existence – my legacy. I do not want to live just for myself when I can make use of my life to serve others as well. Everyone dies, but only a few are remembered. I want to be a person worth remembering.

It’s 2:45 AM in the future and I’ll look back at this very moment and smile. I’ll remember my sleepy eyes and I’ll say, “Job well done!” All the hard work and tireless nights will be replaced with an overwhelming gratitude.  There will be no more questions but only answers.  And in that moment, I’m sure to have fulfilled and served well my purpose in life.