A zillion stars of the sky in multitude, countless grains of sand on the seashore, and 7.6 billion people in the word, but still, my heart chose to love you.

A lot of people tell us, “there’s a lot of fish in the ocean.” Well, as far as the sharks, whales and those clueless canned tuna are concerned, that statement is true. Based on a recent study, scientists estimate that there are almost 22,000 fish species in the world. But for us, this statement means more than that. Sometimes, even if we wanted to have a romantic and smooth-sailing relationship, things just don’t go as planned; worse, we find ourselves in front of the KTV singing the song “Where do broken hearts go?” And yes, it will hurt, and it will bleed. And many people who haven’t been through a breakup won’t understand until they do. Thankfully, love experts who happens to be our friends remind us of this timeless expression in order to console our wandering and deserted hearts, that there are other million fish out there. “Hang out with other people and surely you will find someone,” they said. Though we know that this works more like band-aid for a bullet wound, at least we start to see sparks of hope in that there has to be that someone specially just for us; someone who will understand and see the greatness within us; someone who will give us reasons to smile and love the world again; someone who will make us feel as if we were never hurt; someone who will stay and never leave and swim away.

One day we will find that someone. She will not be just like any other fish in the ocean who has commitment issues. She will listen to your heartbeats and you will listen to hers. And you will love her more than that three-hearted polygamous hagfish who broke yours. She will remind you of Popoy who have said that maybe the ones we love leaves us because someone else is supposed to come into our lives, who will love us more. She will never hurt or leave us. And she will be the one to right all the wrongs in our lives.

Yes, there’s a lot of fish in the ocean. But there will be only one Nemo. There can be only one fish just for you. But who’s that fish?

Everyone has a dream, but dreams come with a price; a price many won’t be willing to pay. There are no shortcuts or push-button solutions; overnight success is a myth. You have to exert your best effort, put thousands of hours in work, and remind yourself to keep going even when the only option left is to quit. There will be a series of nights of self-loathing, regrets and infinite loops of have-I-made-the-right-choice question in your head; but none of these will stop you.

Perhaps, the worst decision to make is not to try at all, and not take a risk for things you constantly wish when the clock hits 11:11. Who cares if you lose or fail? If you are afraid of losing, then maybe, you don’t deserve to win; you don’t deserve the prize. And maybe, in order to win, you really have to lose sometimes. But you have to start at something. You have to take that first step, that leap of faith, and to just keep on moving toward that dream. Without you knowing it, you may already have moved miles, and with just a little rush, you have already reached your destination.

There was a story about a King who, together with his whole army and with their best ships, went into war against another faraway kingdom. When they reached the shore and finished setting up camp, the King ordered the burning of their ships and he said, ” We have burnt our finest ships, the only way we are going back home is to win this war!”

This too, is my declaration. There is no turning back.

I have to win this war.

I need to.

I know, God did not put me here to fight for a dream and then just die. I have been through a lot of times when I doubted and lost my faith in Him, but there were a lot more times that He showed His greatness. I can’t make it on my own; no one can. This is why I believe, that the people I have today are godsent. They are not just mere friends and fellow travelers, but family. I am not alone in this journey, and so are you.

 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

 

“I don’t know what I want, so don’t ask me.

I’m still trying to figure it out…”

It’s 2:45 AM. That line of Taylor Swift’s song hits me as it plays perpetually in my head. I think two cups of coffee is enough for tonight as it could no longer overcome my tired eyes from pretending to stay awake. As I take my last sip, I see the piled printed sheets of cases and notes waiting to be read and I could not help but ask myself, “Am I doing what I’m supposed to do?” “Am I on the right track?” “Why am I here?”

Not all my journeys started from a dream. Some started from a series of chances and grabbed opportunities. I never dreamt of becoming a lawyer, but I’d like to believe that I’m in this journey for a worthy purpose. Though only God knows the exact reason, like a seed planted in a garden, I only need to sprout and blossom. And that is why I’m still here.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” While most people are in pursuit of happiness, self-gratification and the you-only-live-once lifestyle, I’m reminded that I must live a life of purpose – a purpose greater than myself; one that will define my existence. People would ask, “Why the need to do more?”, “Why go through all the pain, hardships, and sleepless nights when you don’t need to?” But then, why not? If I have to live each day as if it were my last, I will make sure to leave a trace of my existence – my legacy. I do not want to live just for myself when I can make use of my life to serve others as well. Everyone dies, but only a few are remembered. I want to be a person worth remembering.

It’s 2:45 AM in the future and I’ll look back at this very moment and smile. I’ll remember my sleepy eyes and I’ll say, “Job well done!” All the hard work and tireless nights will be replaced with an overwhelming gratitude.  There will be no more questions but only answers.  And in that moment, I’m sure to have fulfilled and served well my purpose in life.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton